Random Bullets Page 3

  Edward didn’t help matters. He further failed to endear himself to his mother and stepfather by behaving like an argumentative hooligan, acting out his pain over the loss of his biological father, and the subsequent lack of parental love and attention. His relationship with his mother and new father became increasingly toxic. It was made even worse by Florence wanting to spend all her time pleasing her new husband, who was as selfish and self-indulgent a human being as his new wife. Marcus had made it clear to everyone he had no time to waste on the offspring of a man he’d never liked.

  Fried brain

  As Edward entered the minefield of puberty, he acted much like many teenagers in the seventies. He identified with all the tortured, mysterious loners throughout history, believing he was a misunderstood social outcast. He sought out likeminded peers, and disappeared during school holidays and weekends to smoke cannabis and drop tabs of acid.

  Drugs had a far worse effect on his inherited mental problems than it had on the brains of his companions. Edward’s already imperfect brain never recovered from a particularly bad acid trip he’d dropped one fateful day.

  One Friday evening in late summer, seventeen-year-old Edward had met up with Carl, his closest school friend. Carl was a self-proclaimed outsider. He’d grown up in the care system after his parents died in a house fire he’d only just survived. He bore the scars from that fire, both mentally and physically. Carl would’ve been a more attractive young male if it hadn’t been for the burn marks down the left side of his face, neck and upper body. He was a tall, tanned, well-muscled youth with long, fair hair that he let flop over his face in an attempt at covering up his scars.

  That summer evening in the seventies, the two teenage boys had planned to meet up on a nearby beach with two girls from their school for an illicit drug-fuelled party.

  Carl was sitting on the dry sand under the high, pink granite wall that sheltered them from the prying eyes of any motorists using the coast road. ‘Trust the girls to be late. Bloody typical. I’m not dropping the tabs until they arrive.’

  Both boys wore identical blue flared jeans and long-sleeved tie-dyed T-shirts that barely reached their navels. A warm breeze blew through the boys’ long hair. The warmth of the granite wall felt comforting against their backs as they casually laid up against it to wait for their female companions.

  ‘I’ll be back in a tick,’ said Edward, getting to his feet and strolling nonchalantly over the crunching pebbles towards the lapping, salty waves. Hidden from the view of motorists by giant rocks, he unzipped his jeans and urinated into one of the rockpools.

  ‘Too bloody lazy to walk to the public toilets over there, are you?’ Carl called out, as Edward returned to where his friend was lounging.

  Edward laughed. ‘Rebel, that’s me.’ Edward rarely laughed, having little reason to, but Carl occasionally brought out a more humorous side in him.

  As the sun gradually died away, the distant rocks looked more and more like dinosaurs or mythical monsters. Soon, the most visible object on the beach was the glowing tip of the joint the teenagers were passing back and forth to each other.

  ‘At long bloody last! Think that’s Tracy and Moo walking down the slipway. I can see the glow of their ciggies. Moo’s wearing that white top again, so I reckon it’s them.’ Carl waved both arms above his head, so the girls could see them in the fading light. He’d not wanted to shout out to tell the girls where they were; it wouldn’t have been cool in front of Moo, Carl’s love interest. He had high hopes Moo would let him feel her up again, like she’d once done before, when she’d worn the same white cheesecloth, halter-neck top on their first date.

  Giggling with anticipation, the two girls reached the spot where Carl and Edward were leaning against the wall. The citrus smell of Tracy’s Aqua Manda perfume mixed with the strong odour from the seaweed bordering the shoreline. The tide was moving its relentless way up the pebbled sand. From years of experience, the teenagers were confident they’d not be chased off that particular Jersey beach by the incoming tide. They only chose to meet up on that beach when they were certain the weather would be dry; there was nowhere to shelter if it rained, except in a nearby smelly toilet.

  It was usually a nightmare for the youth of the island to find places to meet up in Jersey during winter, or when the weather was uninviting. At seventeen, Carl and Edward often risked being caught breaking the law while they drank in pubs or danced in the island’s discos, but they had little option. Youth clubs were anathema to the friends, because they crawled with goody two shoe adolescents. These clubs were too mainstream for the boys’ tastes, and suffered from too much adult, often religious, interference. For the two teenage boys, excitement usually came at the expense of breaking the law.

  That late evening was perfect for a night of drug taking under the stars, and for trying to persuade their two female companions to have sex with them. All four teenagers sitting on the beach were virgins, yet each of them was deeply curious about the mysteries of sex.

  ‘Brought my travel rug, just as you asked,’ Tracy said to Edward, removing the large tartan rug from her plastic bag and laying it onto the sand.

  She sat cross-legged next to Edward, her long hippie skirt covering her bare legs. Similarly dressed Moo also sat next to Edward, with Carl on the other side of her. If by some miracle anything sexual was about to happen, it was thought it would probably occur between Moo and Carl. Edward and Tracy would be coupled, by default, even though they’d not yet kissed; both secretly believed kissing, and probably more, would happen that night.

  Carl was already eying up Moo’s tightly-packed white top. He remembered how thrilling she’d felt a week before, when she’d graciously allowed him to grope her in the back row of the Forum cinema, during a screening of recently released film, ‘Easy Rider.’ He’d caught Moo waving and smiling at one of the boys sitting with a group of equally rough-looking males in the back row during intermission.

  Carl had been livid and had shoved her. ‘Why did you go waving at him for? If you’d rather be with him than me, go ahead, feel free. When the film’s over, wait until those yobs have gone. Don’t want to run into trouble outside the cinema.’

  He’d barely kissed her before she’d miserably caught her bus home alone, but they’d grown friendly again over the following days. They’d arranged to meet up that Sunday at Anne Port Bay for a double date with Edward and Tracy.

  On the moonlit deserted Anne Port beach, Carl was already groping Moo when Edward petulantly said, ‘Are we going to drop the acid tabs now, or not even bother?’ He was feeling peeved after Tracy had coyly pushed his hand away when he’d tried to copy Carl’s bold exploratory moves on Moo.

  ‘Yeh, why not? You girls are game to drop a tab of acid each, aren’t you?’ Carl said, realising his friend was getting nowhere with his designated girl.

  Not wishing to appear to be spoilsports, both girls nodded their approval, although were secretly scared at what might happen after swallowing the tabs. It was hit or miss whether they’d be lucky enough to experience a good trip, or unlucky, and be thrown into a waking nightmare. From the quartet’s recent conversations with more experienced drug users, the type of trip they could expect seemed to depend on the state of their minds at the time of ingesting their LSD-soaked blotting paper.

  Edward was the most anxious person of the four before swallowing the drug. A few hours before, he’d endured an upsetting row with his mother, who’d picked a fight with him over the state of his bedroom. She’d picked on him just so that she could scream abuse at him, and slap his face to make her feel better. Self-harmers gain relief from their build-up of tension and stresses by perhaps slicing their inner thighs or arms with razor blades. Florence gained her stress relief by hurting Edward, emotionally, physically, and later, financially.

  As the four waited for the drugs to kick in, they lay on their backs on the travel rug, smoking cigarettes, because they’d sadly run out of cannabis to roll more joints. Tracy had brought along a bottle of wine and a corkscrew that she’d stolen from her father’s drinks cabinet. They took turns at taking swigs from it, all except Moo giggling when she splashed some on her white top. The cannabis had worked its magic on Moo, so she was only partly aware Carl had pulled up her wine-splattered top. Edward was lying on the rug as close to Moo as Carl. Can’t believe my luck. I’m getting a free show!

  Moo offered no resistance, much to the surprise of her more reticent girlfriend, who was beginning to feel left out and neglected. Judging by Edward’s heavy breathing, Tracy could tell Edward was enjoying the sight of his friend playing with Moo’s breasts. Tracy sensed Edward would probably soon give up trying to get anywhere with her and join Carl in playing with Moo if Tracy, the ice queen, didn’t loosen up a tad.

  Scared of being completely ignored, Tracy decided to up her game. She whispered to a transfixed Edward, ‘So, when am I going to get a look in?’

  Edward was shocked but delighted; he’d never expected Tracy to be bold enough to bestow on him much more than a chaste kiss. As she lay back on the rug, with her arms folded behind her head, he tentatively rolled her blue flowery top upwards. It was soon scrunched up under her chin to match Moo’s top.

  Edward sat up and leant on one elbow. Soon, he was mimicking whatever Carl was doing to Moo. Not wanting to be outdone by her friend, Tracy decided to go one better and slid her long skirt up as high as she could. Inexperienced, virginal Edward discovered to his surprise and confusion that his hand had been placed in between her bare legs. It’s all getting out of control. Not entirely sure what I’m supposed to do next.

  Both girls seemed to be trying to outdo each other, as were both boys. All four were fairly clueless about what sex entailed, but they seemed to be discovering together at the
same time, loosened up by the drugs. It felt as though they were still in class at school, all learning human biology the practical way.

  As Carl and Moo were far too preoccupied with exploring each other’s bodies to pay attention to him, Edward unzipped his jeans, slid them off and threw them onto the sand next to Carl’s discarded flares.

  Strange thoughts were brewing inside all their brains as the acid gradually took effect. Edward sensed that Tracy’s breasts seemed to be growing, taking on a life of their own. He looked down the beach and was alarmed to see the dinosaur rocks near the water’s edge appeared to be ominously moving towards them.

  Before he could stare at them any longer and run from danger, Tracy pulled him down onto the rug, pushing his shocked face towards her pubic hair. Even though it was now night, the sight of her nakedness suddenly terrified him. The acid coursing round his brain made her look like some unknown fabled beast, fearful to behold.

  Edward sat bolt upright. ‘Sorry … I can’t do this.’ He jumped to his feet and pulled on his jeans, then started running up the beach towards the slipway which led onto the pitch-black, winding coastal road.

  ‘Where the fuck’s he going?’ shouted Tracy into Carl’s moonlit face. To Tracy’s drug-addled brain, Carl’s scarred face looked robotic, shining silver in the moonlight.

  Carl shrugged. ‘I’m too messed up by this acid to go chasing after the fool. I’m sure he’ll be fine.’ Not content with playing with just Moo, Carl’s hands started to wander between Tracy’s legs. He wanted to reassure her that he’d no intention of making her feel left out, and because he was confident he could get away with it.

  By the end of that night, Carl, Tracy and Moo could no longer call themselves virgins. Edward, however, was still very much one, although he’d managed to experiment more than he’d ever done before with any girl. Whilst Carl experienced his first threesome at the age of seventeen, Edward went on to endure one of the scariest nights of his life.

  The sight of Tracy’s naked body had triggered an extremely bad trip indeed inside Edward’s brain. As he trudged away from his friends along the moonlit beach, everything around him took on a hostile aura. One large rock on the waterline morphed into a disembodied head in front of his terrified eyes. The crunch of the seaweed sounded like the shattering bones of baby birds. By the time that he’d reached the coast road above the beach wall, the sight of the black trees lining the sweeping, narrow road, rooted his feet to the spot.

  ‘Shit! More monsters,’ he cried out to the moon, which looked down on him like a disapproving wraith.

  The road running alongside Anne Port Bay was not much used, even in daytime, but it was completely deserted that night. The only illumination shone down from the ghost above. Edward stood shakily on the high granite wall overlooking the beach, looking toward where his three friends should have been. He could make out the moving shapes of their naked bodies, and hear distant moans as they climaxed in turn. To Edward, they looked and sounded like a Minotaur, devouring maidens in its labyrinth.

  As he stared in horrified fascination down at the troubling erotic scene below him, he suddenly felt a hot rush of energy flood into his brain. His penis was a writhing serpent. Tracy could see his silhouette against the moon and shouted out, ‘Come back and join in the fun, Ed. You don’t know what you’re missing.’

  He was unable to immediately make out her words. Once he understood her meaning through his drugged state, he decided it might be safer back on the beach with them, rather than up on the roadside surrounded by all the dark, swaying tree monsters.

  In keeping with ancient legends, Edward believed he might be Mercury, the winged messenger. With a confident smile, he spread his wings and launched his body upwards into the darkness, intent on flying down onto the sand. There was a shriek from Tracy, followed by a dull thud as Edward landed flat on his face, fifteen feet below the wall. Gritty sand forced itself into every facial orifice. He was lucky there’d been no rocks beneath him. Even so, his hooked nose felt broken and one arm was twisted at an impossible angle beneath his twitching body. The pain was intensified and muddled by the drugs.

  His naked friends rushed towards him where he lay in the sand. In a flash, their acid trips had switched from glorious to horrible.

  ‘Christ, are you alright? Don’t move. It looks nasty,’ said Carl, his stomach churning as he remembered the thudding sound Edward’s body had made as it walloped the ground.

  Tracy had been feeling disgruntled, because Carl had paid Moo more attention than her. She’d been on the edge of a bad trip. Edward’s accident had now pushed her and her friends over the edge into nightmare territory. It had felt euphoric during the early stages of the beach orgy. But now, she started to laugh and cry simultaneously, until Moo slapped her friend’s face to break the hysteria.

  Carl grabbed Tracy. ‘Shut up, you fool. You’ll wake the people in that house over there. I think there’s a call box further up the road. You two, stay with Ed while I go and phone for an ambulance. There’s no way we can walk him home with his arm busted up like that. Do either of you girls have a tissue for his nose in your bags? He’s pouring blood.’

  ‘I’ve only got a sanitary pad in my bag, but that’ll have to do,’ said Moo, taking one from its wrapper and dabbing the blood away. The three naked teenagers rapidly dressed, struggling to cope with the situation, made even more challenging by the group being in the powerful grip of LSD.

  ‘Can’t move … think I’ve buggered my back up,’ said Edward, rightly guessing his back injury would cause him permanent difficulty. He lay groaning and whimpering as the partly naked girls fussed around him.

  Edward was so badly injured, and flying so high on drugs, he failed to recognise his friends or realise where he was. When the ambulance drove up onto the slipway, the teenagers all tried to act as normally as they could to hide their drug taking activities. But, it soon became clear to the ambulance crew, who were carrying Edward on a stretcher up from the beach and into the back of the ambulance, that all four teenagers were tripping out of their skulls on acid.

  ‘More damned hippies. These hot summer nights always bring them out of the woodwork,’ the ambulance driver moaned to his colleague as they delivered a screaming, gibbering Edward to A&E. He’d badly damaged several vertebrae, which prevented him from walking for six months, and delayed him sitting A-levels until the following year.

  His mother was livid she had to endure her least favourite son lazing around the house for months. It took a supreme effort on her part to act maternally towards him and nurse him back to health. Just as she’d acted with his dying father, Florence did the bare minimum to help her eldest son’s recovery. What little she did was carried out with ill grace, plus large doses of martyrdom.

  Edward had been left in no doubt that Florence hated every minute of her enforced role as a somewhat sadistic Florence Nightingale. His right arm was also badly broken and took months to recover. Edward’s already hooked nose was now permanently bent at an odd angle after his attempt to fly, which did nothing to improve his dealings with the opposite sex.

  His mother had been incandescent with rage with him after learning how Edward had received his injuries. Every time she looked at him, he reminded her of Gregory, her cheating first husband. It’s as though he’s returned from the grave to torment me. She wasn’t the only person to notice her eldest son’s behaviour becoming increasingly strange after his drug-fuelled flight from the top of the beach wall. It was an indication of just how bizarre Edward’s behaviour must have become, if a mentally disturbed woman thought him odd.

  The worst of Edward’s damage was invisible to the naked eye. His brain came off worst on that night on the beach, with frequent flashbacks and visions of hostile monsters cropping up in his head at random times. When his rebellious brain allowed Edward to think lucidly, he bitterly regretted dropping acid on that fateful summer’s night. He’d been tipped over a precipice into an abyss, in the real world, and metaphorically. He developed debilitating, embarrassing panic attacks, which appeared out of nowhere in any place at any time. His heart would race, his body sweat, and his mouth go dry. Sadly, the attacks never left him, adding to his difficulties with integrating into the world. Edward was an ill-fitting jigsaw piece.